Archive for the 'Humor' category

Hipster science

Feb 27 2011 Published by under Humor, Uncategorized

Hipsterscience Lab NotebookUPDATE 2/28/11: #hipsterscience shows no signs of slowing down.

I'm pretty sure it is all Zelnio's fault:

kzelnio: I keep my pipettes in organic wool hand-woven napsacks made by local free range shepherds in Big Sur #hipsterscience

kzelnio: I hand grind organically grown fair trade red algae to make my agarose for electrophoresis. I don't buy into "big agarose" #hipsterscience

kzelnio: I was into the coalescent before it went mainstream #hipsterphylogenetics

enniscath: Positive controls are waaaaay too conformist #hipsterscience

superkash: I use my own heirloom goat's milk for blocking buffers. #hipsterscience

JoshRosenau: My primers are organically made by a guy I know. You wouldn't have heard of him. #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: You get a better shave with a blade you've freshly knapped from fair-trade, small producer obsidian @drisis #hipsterscience #hipsteranthro

upulie: I don't publish on the "major journal" labels, I only tweet my work #hipsterscience

CMastication: My parents fund my research. #hipsterscience

noahWG: I discovered the Higgs boson, but fuck if I'm going to ruin it by telling others about it. #hipsterscience

talyarkoni: Hypothesis testing is for people who lack conviction. #hipsterscience

CBC_psi: My data don't need to fit to your "model." #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: The Williamsburg Project was edgier RT @nwerneck @bjkraal: I liked Richard Feynman before he joined the Manhattan Project. #hipsterscience

bjkraal: I liked Richard Feynman before he joined the Manhattan Project. #hipsterscience

DrKlapperich: I'm writing a textbook. It's self published #hipsterscience

dftchemist: If its not fortran 77 its not real code #hipsterscience

dr_leigh: the modern lab balance has only one pan. nowhere to put the mass standards... tragic. #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: replication is for mainstreamers...I prefer to keep moving forward. #hipsterscience

ajebsary: I only publish in PLoS journals, out of principle. #OpenScience is my mantra and impact factor is for jokers. #HipsterScience

talyarkoni: Neuroscientists today have it easy with Brodmann Areas and stereotaxic coordinates. In my day, we used echolocation. #hipsterscience

anaturalstate: I use R for stats because Matlab is so corporate #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: I know he went by Fred, I only use Burrhus to be ironic. #hipsterscience

CMastication My research question? You've never heard of it. #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: Poser. I used the only lecture hall that still has chalkboards. RT @medscholaradaml overhead projector for my thesis defense #hipsterscience

medscholaradaml: Powerpoint? No thanks I'm using this overhead projector for my thesis defense #hipsterscience

TheAstronomist: I like galaxies the way they used to be long ago when they emitted their light, I don't even care what they do now. #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: I build my own electrophys rigs out of parts from RadioShack to remain authentic. #hipsterscience ..oh, wait

ryneches: Published in PLoS One before everyone thought it was cool. #hipsterscience

dorsalstream: I only work with skinny genes. #hipsterscience

caruanascott: unless you take a day to equilibrate your phenol, extractions are just not very rewarding #hipsterscience

kzelnio My thermal cycler is a fixie #hipsterscience

jillahjillah: Negative reviews validate the innovative nature of my work #hipsterscience

catchpolenet: Infrared spectroscopy is a little passé. I'm thinking purples and browns. Brown goes with my man bag. #hipsterscience

para_sight: I only sequence the anti-sense strand; the conformists can work out the obvious, maybe #hipsterscience

AgileRoxy: I converted my lab notebook to QR codes. #hipsterscience

westius: I like my chemistry organic #hipsterscience

cambrianexplode: Evolution? I like the early stuff but it's all gotten so predictable now. #hipsterscience

drugmonkeyblog: It's just more authentic to pipette by mouth. #hipsterscience

25 responses so far

Hard headed applicant?

This cracked me up. In doing a little research for my post over at Sb, I ran across a couple of NIH applications that were funded on the A6 version. Yep, that means somebody submitted an application seven times to get it funded (this was prior to 1996 when you could do this). What sort of person would do that, I wondered?

Click to embiggen so you can appreciate the key point.

ahh, of course. Someone who was in year 28 of his other R01. Unfortunately RePORTER seems to have lost a lot of the historical data that CRISP used to have so it is hard to tell precisely. But you wanna bet this guy had one grant that he renewed continually for decades...then when it came time to write a new proposal had no idea how to deal with critical comments, perhaps from a new set of reviewers that were not his long time cronies?

5 responses so far

Boot camp for grant writers?

Nov 22 2010 Published by under Grantsmanship, Humor

This is hilarious.

Andrews: well, it’s in my proposal. Pthalates are a suspected mutagen, and I am suggesting that…

Proposal Sergeant: I DID NOT ask you about the content of your proposal, you nematode! Who gives an airborne copulation about that! I asked you why you wrote this as a response to an FOA and not an RFA!!

2 responses so far

and even better than that....Downfall, the NIH R01 edition

Nov 01 2010 Published by under Humor, NIH, NIH funding, Uncategorized

As if the paper review mashup wasn't hilarious enough....

They told me an MD degree would help me secure funding...memorizing useless shit during the prime years of my life!

5 responses so far

It is a good day...Third Reviewer Downfall is back up!

Nov 01 2010 Published by under Humor, Peer Review

It is a very good day. The Downfall folks must have revoked their objection (or asked YouTube to restore access after an auto-ban that they didn't ask for).


One response so far

Do not pledge to Public Radio

Oct 20 2010 Published by under Humor

This was cracking me up during my local public radio station's fundraising drive.

Do not pledge to Public Radio

No responses yet

It's my night to bring the beer...

Oct 04 2010 Published by under Day in the life of DrugMonkey, Hockey, Humor

yeah, pretty much like this....

Slightly NSFW at the end so I'll put it after the jump...
Continue Reading »

4 responses so far

Young Looking Assistant Professors Are Trying to Fit In

Jun 21 2010 Published by under #FWDAOTI, Humor

With grant success rates dipping ever below 10% in the NIH and somewhere south of gawdawful in NSF programs people are understandably nervous.

BikeMonkey Guest Post
We all know about the struggles young and even not-so-young women professors go through to gain the respect of their students and peers. A youthful appearance can in some cases be a bit of a handicap. Men are not immune as has been described by Prof-like Substance.

I was asked to give a 5 minute dog and pony show research explanation to a political candidate for some district somethingorother. She brought along a contingent of people, including two interns who appeared to think their job of making sure the schedule was adhered to was a life or death posting, and toured the lab. I talked about what we do, including how our science is both good for the state from a job and application perspective. She took this all in as I described the cool equipment we use and how state infrastructure is blah blah blah. A few questions were asked, suggesting the candidate had at least listened. And then... "So, are you a student here?"

Well, some of Prof-like's peers have been adopting a little protective camouflage to fit in.

Young assistant professors in Ivy League towns have stormed the salons with an interesting request: to add a little gray to their perfectly-colored heads of hair.
P. Nus-Whimple of the Crimson Locks, a men's salon and spa in Cambridge, MA explained that grayness adds gravitas.
"We've had that request quite a bit," Nus-Whimple said. "Assistant professors are under tenure stress and need be taken more seriously in their field. At a conference they look around the audience at all the gray manes and wonder how they are being perceived. Twenty years ago, only 2 percent of our business was hair colour, now it's 22-23 per cent. And of the colouring we do, 80 percent is gray blending."

Continue Reading »

11 responses so far

" baseball players who've taken steroids."

May 18 2010 Published by under Careerism, Gender, Humor, Tribe of Science

There's really nothing else to say but "Discuss" for this comment.

I think people with a stay at home spouse should have an asterisk next to their name on their CVs and tenure documents, like baseball players who've taken steroids.

(You might want to also register a vote in Female Science Professor's stay-at-home-spouse poll.)

11 responses so far


Apr 15 2010 Published by under Humor, Music

This is cracking me up today:

    display_tweme_list(tweme_data, "tweet-list", false);

    9 responses so far

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