Apr 16 2012 Published by drugmonkey under #FWDAOTI, Academics, Day in the life of DrugMonkey, Parenthood
One of the things about being a parent is, IME, that it dissolves any lingering conceit that you are actually good at everything you choose to do or must do.
I think this helps you to run a research lab of any appreciable size.
20 responses so far
I see. So you think that those of us who are childless are conceited? hmm?
Dude, just because you sucke at parenting doesn't mean everyone else does.
Exactly anon, exactly.
Depends on the kid as well. With child 1, we wondered what was wrong with all the other parents out there whose kids were so disruptive. Then we had child 2.
Oh yeah -- being a parent has definitely been the most humbling experience of my life.
Also parenting really makes it sink in that you are in fact NOT in control over every aspect of your or your kids' lives; this is a critical lesson for the many control freaks among us scientists...
I've got a long list of grant and paper rejections that have been plenty helpful in the conceit-quashing department, thanks.
GMP, yes definitely. I no longer judge any parents by the actions of their kids. Sometimes, no matter how well you "taught them right" they will act like jerks.
I knew they're had to be a plus-side, other than the pure joy of watching Monkey trash the carpet in our rental while attempting to begin potty training.
It's not the same. With the rejections, you can always resort to thinking, 1) those reviewers are morons, 2) I should have wrote this section differently, 3) if I only had time to put in more data. With kids, you can only throw your hands in the air, sigh, and learn to live with acceptance.
living with limitations on my work efficiency has been a very hard lesson- forget the part about being good at any of it.
good thing I am awesome at everything!
That is fortunate, indeed, pinus
(I was being sarcastic - I understand your point here)
Oh, good, you mean the lessons I learned from stone cold hauling my toddler through the parking lot after he refused to hold my hand are going to be applicable when I have grad students? I look forward to it, though maybe with a little confusion.
Nobody said anything about "lessons" or "applicable". This is about acceptance, straight up DJMH.
(and I totally had to potato sack carry a screaming kid in public just today as it happens. Fist bump?)
I'm so awesome at parenting it just makes me more discouraged about how much I suck at science.
And by that, I mean I'm able to be completely deluded about parenting, but not so much about science. I also potato sack carried my child today. My theory: children do not adapt to rapidly warming weather well (or at least, my kid doesn't. His grandpa doesn't, so we've got someone to blame it on).
But yeah. If you haven't sucked hard at more things you've done, you haven't done enough interesting things.
DJMH: Oh, yes, those lessons very, very, very much applicable to graduate students. Just wait until you haul your first student through preparation for candidacy exams!
Just wait until you haul your first student through preparation for candidacy exams!
kicking and screaming?
One exasperated day in TeaHag's home were heard the immortal phrases:
"HOW many TIMES have you heard me say how frustrating it is when the graduate students don't even ATTEMPT to answer the questions???"
To which the teenaged F1 mumbled in response, "About a quazillion, yeah I know... you'll can only score zero when you turn in a blank page"
SO why did you not *$%^& (imagine the rest, it involves some social studies and an exam)???!!!
Life is circular.
DrugMonkey is an NIH-funded researcher who blogs about careerism in science. And occasionally about the science of drug use.
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