Overheard on the local playground:
Wackaballoon: "Oh yeah?"
T: "Uh-huh! Twice!"
W: "Yeah, well yer daddy is an Assistant Adjunct Research Professor!"
T: "Yeah? Well, yo momma is an Adjunct Research Assistant Professor....in Reeesssideeence!"
W: "Well yo momma only had three first-author papers as a poooost-doc!"
T: "Anyway, yer daddy is a postdoc!"
W: "...at least he doesn't publish in Acta Scandinavica...like yo momma!"
T: "I hear yer daddy contaminates his samples"
W: "At least he didn't have to retract a paper, like yer daddy!"
T: "Oh yeah? Well yo momma 'forgets' her negative controls!"
W: "Yo momma doesn't know what a 'control' is!"
T: "At least she doesn't Photoshop on the error bars like yer daddy..."
W: "Yer daddy thinks 'p value' is measured in milliliters!"
T: "Yo momma
SchoolMarm: "Okay children, back inside!"
Ahh, kids these days....